trying to hold it together...

I have not talked to my husband in 2 days because they are in a blackout. I know that he is okay but I still worry. I need to hear his voice everyday, to know that he is safe and on the other side of the phone. It is an unbelievable comfort to know exactly what he is doing at that very moment.

I miss him more than I knew it was possible. I feel like so much of myself is missing...I am not whole without him. I envy friends whose husbands come home to them everyday, who sit down together for dinner, who share a couch while watching t.v, and who go to sleep in the same bed. This year apart has really made me appreciate Brandon and our relationship, and it has made me realize that there is nothing that I would not do, or withstand for us.

So yesterday when I received the heartbreaking news that his unit had lost another soldier, I broke down. It really hit too close to home this time. I cried until I was out of energy to cry and then did the only thing that I could think of to do...I made brownies and snuggled with our son.

When we are all a family again, I will never forget this year that we spent so far apart, and I know that it will make us stronger. I can only hope that it will make me a more understanding and supportive wife, and always remember the vows we took not so very long ago.